Friday, August 13, 2010

Post Natal Depression

I've read about PND. And we even talked about it with a psychologist at our mums meet-up. So I was ready for it. I even got Lord Gaga to go for the talk so he knew what it was all about.

While I was pregnant, one night in bed, I felt this overwhelming feeling come over me. I turned to Lord Gaga and said "Don't freak out, but I'm going to cry".

3 seconds after that, tears started streaming down my face. Even I was shocked but there was nothing I could do about it.... but I knew to blame it on the hormones. Hehe. So that was our first hand experience.

And I was totally fine after the birth of the baby. Until today.

I was breastfeeding Aydreanne in bed at about 5am when I started thinking about how tired I am from getting up every few hours to breast feed.

Then I thought how expensive a baby is, not just the milk, diapers and visits to the doctor but also her trust fund, education etc.

Then I though about how I had to go back to work because we needed the money even though I really didn't want to because I wanted to be a full time mum.

That led to the pressure of making more money on top of what my day time job was paying.

Which means I'll have even less time to spend with baby Aydreanne.

It just spiralled down and down till I was sobbing uncontrollably, had to unlatch Aydreanne from breast feeding and wake Lord Gaga up to take care of her while I get a hold of myself.

Wow, those hormones are powerful!

After I composed myself, looked at Aydreanne, she gave me a smile.

And everything seems fine again.

Things have a way of working themselves out and worrying is just a waste of time.

We can only give our kids the best we can give. And no one can fault us otherwise.


Suzanne said...

You will be fine Amanda. You have your lovely Lord Gaga and Baby Aydreanne. You will be a fantastic mommy! *hugs* xx

Bubbles said...

Thanks Suzanne!