Friday, January 02, 2009

Trying to Quit Smoking Since 1 Jan 2009

As of today, I've not smoked for 1 3/4 days. Almost 2 days! I decided that 1 Jan 2009 would be the date that I quit. I pressured Paul into doing it too because there's just so many reasons to do it with the first and foremost being wanting to be parents at some point in the near future. So its not for our health (smokers don't ever consider this a factor) but it's to give the kid the best start possible, from conception onwards. I'm also reading What To Expect When You're Expecting and will be interviewing OBGYNs soon.

So after our New Year Eve party which ended at 4am, I went to bed and woke up at 3pm. Paul and I cleaned up the house, went out for dinner, walked around for a bit and came back. Paul promised he'll quit after he finished his last pack. I said okay. Fair enough.

The first smoke free day went without a hitch. No cravings. No nothing! I thought it was pretty easy. If only.

Came into work this morning and greeted Michelle Who Stays on the Seashore. She quit on 1 Jan too along with her partner.

We went to make coffee in the morning as usual but didn't detour to the stairwell for our morning smokes. The morning went by pretty quickly.

Then we went for lunch. We had our usual cravings for a cigarette after lunch. But that's to be expected. Then we saw a couple of people light up. We tried to ignore them. I sucked on a straw. Pretending it's a cigarette. It worked. For a while.

It's really not so much the nicotine but the hand-to-mouth action and having something to do with your hands and mouth. It helps so much when you're in a ackward situation. Or meeting a new group of people who smokes.

Since coming back from lunch, about 3 hours ago, I've thought about smoking about 30 times. It's all consuming. I can't work. I can only sit here, suck on my straw and imagine holding a stick between my fingers, the bright spark followed by the fire, then the deep inhalation and my lungs being filled with cool menthol air. And when I exhale, the smoke coming out like a dragon, the smoke enveloping me like a beautiful grey cloud, lifting me senses......

I can't help it (furtively and desperately sucking on my straw)!

Since writing this post, i thought about smoking another 15 times.

Wow this is tough.

I know I've not posted much on the wedding or the honeymoon but seriously, I need to share with you my trying to quit smoking experience.

I think this is when the anger and irritation sets in.

I know this isn't forever. I really love and enjoy smoking but recently have been doing it out of boredom, to relieve stress or just cos of habit. I wanna trash all of that and smoke when I really feel like having a cigarette. That means a few sticks a week which I think is fine. But I really do need to quit for at least a few months before i pick up social smoking just cos I can. Or after the baby. Or something. I can't think anymore!

I feel light headed. I dunno if it's the withdrawal symptoms. Or me taking really deep breaths through my plastic straw. Or winding my legs too tightly against my body.

I need a cigarette! Now............................


Mirebella said...

I quit like 8 yrs ago and till now, I still miss it esp after a few drinks. The first few months (3 months) will be the hardest. Try going on patches or chewing gum. I swear - the gum does wonders.

What I do not miss is the stench of ciggie smoke on me 24-7.

What I do miss is the easy way of asking for a light to break the ice..


Good luck!

Bubbles said...

Thanks Mirebella! The gum didn't help much for me. Sigh. Totally agree with how a ciggie can break the ice. Or keep you company when you're waiting for someone. Or distresses you after a frustrating conversation with the client. Or how it satisfies you after a meal.

Ahhhhhhhh ......