In Clubbing Retirement Mode But Still In Club Lists

I really and truly am retired from clubbing. After our dinner on last Friday, Salt Boy asked me out for drinks at J&R and I said no. I rather go home and watch a movie! That’s how retired I am. The retirement started, stopped, started but it’s definitely here to stay.

When I first started my Non-Clubbing modes 1,2, 3, 4 and Final ,Zouk called me to tell me that I’m on their permanent guest list. I never needed it anyway since regulars usually just walk in. But it was just ironic that it happened after I retired.

Now that I’m truly into my retirement mode and only drink once a month and even then only if I really have to due to work or obligations to friend, Modesto’s calls me. They’re opening a new outlet in TTDI Plaza and they’re sending me an invite for a sneak peak as well as an invite to their launch. Can’t remember the details as the girl who called had a funny accent. Will just have to wait for the actual invite to arrive. Thought the era of Modesto’s was over but they must be planning a revival.

I’ve retired for about a year but apparently my name and numbers are still in the various clubs lists.

Guess clubbing for 15 years doesn’t allow for easy retirement.

I think I may go for the Modesto’s launch after all. Not that it means that I’m out of retirement.

From Clubbing to Parenthood in a Year

One year, we’re daring each other to down double shots, refusing to leave the club after closing because we want to dance some more ……. Or we’re dancing and drinking and have not realized that the club was closed an hour ago….. And the next year, we’re meeting up in the afternoon drinking chrysanthemum and soya bean, cooing and carrying our friends’ babies at other friends’ baby full moon parties.

I know I have, most of my friends have, retired from clubbing but this was almost a shock to the system to realized that in such a short time, the clubbing lifestyle which we have known and lived for so many years is so long behind us that if I turn around to look, I can hardly even get a whiff of stale alcohol and cigarettes nor hear clinking glasses and incessant laughter induced by one too many shots.

We club, we meet people, we hook up, and suddenly people are getting married and having kids. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea, the concept, the new lifestyle which I need to come to terms with.

It’s not that I miss clubbing. Far from it. These days, I almost dread it when I go into a club and have to accept being jostled around, bad service and drunken people around me either puking or starting a fight. Like Marsupial asked one day above the music so loud you have to yell at each other, “Why did we ever enjoy this?!!!”

I still relish the idea of clubbing, of how good it used to be. Of how I used to loved it. Of how my entire week never goes smoothly if I didn’t club on at least on day of the weekend.

Now all I want to do is stay home, read a book, watch DVDs and just hang out with Paul. Beside the age and finding a good partner, the domesticated lifestyle is also brought about by over clubbing. Clubbing for 15 years, 10 of it which were hard core over several times a week, can do that to you.

My friends who have retired from clubbing are off having babies. Chris A, the ex DJ in Viva, the club which was THE club of our clubbing era, has a baby boy who’s going to turn a year old in a few days. My best friend, Fruitcake has Isabelle who’s also my god daughter. Wendy does not have kids yet but is recently married and has been ready for babies for a long time now. We all just attended Sue Ann’s baby Kay Lee’s full moon party on Saturday. While being around my friends and their babies does not make my maternal instincts kick in (I suspect I do not have maternal instincts anyway), I know that things will never be remotely the same again.

Even Fruitcake talks to me differently now. She says that I’ll understand better after I have had by own kids. Isn’t that obvious? Having a baby is such a life changing, monumental event in a person’s life. And people who are non parents would never be able to experience the same emotions a parent is put through.

I guess what I’m saying is that I need to accept that there is a pattern in life. We grow up, go to school, make friends and promise we’ll be friends forever, leave them behind to go to college and university where we’ll make more friends, drink and club like these is no tomorrow, do a few stupid things and blame it on youth and the alcohol, graduate, go out to work, buy a car, and a house, make more friends, continue clubbing but in more sophisticated clubs drinking more sophisticated drinks, meet more people, asses them for life partnership, get married, have kids, bring them up, work hard to pay of the housing loan and the car loan and plan to save up half a million for the kid’s future.

Our kids will then repeat the cycle in similar fashion.

When I was 21, I opposed the idea of marriage. Now I’m buying bridal magazines and talking to people about their weddings, and planning to plan for one (note that I’m not planning for a wedding).

When I was 28, I still could not fathom having kids. Now I’m warming to the idea though I’ve not totally accepted it. People do it all the time so I ask myself, why would I want to have a child? And no matter that I come up with and who I ask, all the reasons seems really selfish to me.

“I like babies”? - Well they do grow up to be fully grown adults and we know from experience that not all of them are going to be cute or remain cute. There’s a lot to be said about cuteness.

“It’s the thing to do” – Say’s who? Society? Is society going to take care of you when you’re feeling deranged and about to break down at 3 in the morning because the baby has been crying all night and you don’t know what’s wrong? Or when you want to send your kid to the best university but can’t afford it?

“So that they can take care of me when I’m older” – Now, this I find is the most selfish reason of all. Besides, I real doubt the family unit, even in Asia, is going to retain such high filial piety. You’re gonna need to work hard to pay off those loans, bring the kid up, put the kid though university and then start saving up for your own retirement. And that is if you only have one kid.

Okay this is me, pre-motherhood talking. I’m sure my views will change in a few years.

Just like how I could not get though a weekend of not clubbing and now I dread it, perhaps in the next few years, I’ll also find my own answer to the creation of life during the journey of parenthood, in the next few stages in the pattern of life.

Bubbles Non Clubbing Version: Final

Gary and the love of his life were in town from Singapore last Friday and wanted to go out to a R&B club. As close friends know (and as you can see from the lack of posts and pics on clubbing and drinking since this year), I don’t go out as much as before. Thus I no longer have drinking kakis’ numbers on speed dial. Nor do I have a home club where it take 15 minutes to get to my table cos I’ll be drinking with other friends as soon as I walk through the door.

But I had to try since I was going out. So I called / SMS ex clubbing kakis as well as non clubbing kakis whom I thought would be up for a few drinks and this was the response I got:

Fruitcake: Can’t. Gotta wake up early the next day.

Marsupial: At a BBQ in Subang but don’t want to drink too much anyway.

Wijay the Penguin Friend: Going for a movie and have to wake up early for a trip to Ipoh tomorrow.

Patrick: Feeling under the weather. You enjoy.

Lionel: Have family obligations.

Wendy: Not up to it. You have fun.

Jason Lee: Hey! Yourgh ar goi air tage row … wheres air tage rom. Aih 12 bottle fronthh o me now. Airgh breeen dwinkink (I gathered that he was probably drunk cos his mumbling was fairly incomprehensible).

Jason Moo: Going to watch a band play in a pub. Catch u another time.

Ashley: Yeah I’m going to the new club next to bed. I’ll call you (But he never did. Instead he went to Sky Bar and Sugar and had a shitty time.)

Sin Cyn: Have a presentation to work on. Will call u if I’m going but probably not.

Doh Kit, brother of Doh Nut the Doctor: You’ve going out? Bubbles is going clubbing?! Okay okay, let me cut short my plans. See u there!

1 out of 11 said yes. This means even if I wanted to get back into clubbing, I’ll have no one to go with anymore. What happened to all my alkie friends? Is everyone really getting old and retired from the scene?!

Marsupial and I agreeing not to pursue our Guinness Pint challenge session should have been an indication but I’m stubborn.

I decided we should go to Mojo as that was my last known home club. Walking in, I looked around and saw that no one looked familiar except for the manageress. But I got a nice sofa seat anyway and ordered a pint of Guinness for Paul and I.

Gary and Da came and we chatted for a while before they headed up to play pool. Then Kit arrived and we a lemon drop shot. When I thought Gary and Da were being too anti social, I went up, confiscated their coins and made them come down to drink and dance with us.

Then Sin Cyn, Pete and the diving gang showed up!!! Yay! I was so happy to see them!

We were drinking, dancing and taking pictures.

Gary & Da

Kit & Bubs

Sin Cyn & Pete

Bubs, Paul & Sin Cyn

Sydney, Pete & Bubs

2 guys i don't know but think it was friends of friend. I hope.

Okay fine. This is evidence that I was trying to kiss Da.

Then camera stopped flashing cos Bubbles got drunk. You read right. A rare occurrence but it happened. My last memory of the night was of Sin Cyn handing me a glass of whiskey. Then I woke up in the following morning in bed.

Apparently I didn’t do much except try to kiss Da and when she shied away, Sin Cyn and I kissed to show her that it’s fine. Other than that, I just bounced around like I usually do.

If I was that drunk, I’m surprised I didn’t do more psychotic things. That was really mild compared to trying to deflate and steal the 8 feet long blow-up killer whale, which happened at Mojo with Fruitcake before she became a mommy. We were yelling at random people to sit and bounce on the whale to get the air out. The whale could sit 4 adults comfortably on it’s back. We were doing this at the entrance of Mojo, close to the main road of AHR. As I was rolling the deflated whale up, a bouncer came out and took it away. All that hard work and yelling went to waste.

Bubbles can’t drink anymore. Yes I don’t go out drinking 4 times a week like before. Or drink half a bottle on the average per night. But that’s besides the point! This must be my body’s way of telling me that each clubber has to stop at some point. And my point has passed, whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not.

Guess it’s house parties and wine sipping nights from now on. Look out for more sober pics.

After Bubbles Non Clubbing Version 1.0 and 2.0 and 3.0 .... well, i lost count. Gotta get used to Bubbles Non Clubbing Final Version.

The Domesticated Mellow Bubbles

Just a couple of months ago, I was wondering when my clubbing streak would end. I've been clubbing for 15 years and most of my friends are either married (some with kids) or still going out but doing the chilled out wine sipping thing. And I showed no signs of slowing down. In fact I was gaining more momentum. I was so bored, contantly needed to meet new people and therefore clubbing was the answer even though deep down I was getting bored of clubbing itself. But there wasn't any alternatives to weekend activities then. None that I was interested in anyway.

But lately, friends have been telling me that I've mellowed. I'm still me - still bouncy and still high, but seem to be on a different type of high. Another friend also pointed out that once you've found the love of your life, that's what happens automatically. U'll wanna stop going out so much, do more 'couply' things, do more sedated activities and stay home more and enjoy each other's company. Wise words indeed from a friend who's been married a few years.

It's so true. I've now experienced it for myself.

Paul and I checked into Le Meridien last weekend for a short getaway. After dinner at Chynna @ Hilton, he asked if I want to pop by to Zeta which was just a few yards away from the resturant. I said "no" and that I rather go back to the room and watch TV.

And last night, Paul said that I've not clubbed for so long and whether I'd like to go clubbing that night. Here , I have to explain that Paul is not a clubber at all. But there he was offering to bring me anyway cos he knows I enjoy it. And what happened? I said no yet again, I wasn't up to it and that I wanted to go home to pay PS2 and watch a DVD. Sin Cyn smsed to say that she was gonna be at Somo which is the bar right where I live and i even said no to that.

And once again today, Paul asked me if I wanted to go clubbing tonight. And I said "Probably not. How about a movie instead?".

What's going on here?! I've been invited to go out clubbing 3 times by my own boyfriend and I said no every single time? Bubbles is finally mellowing down and becoming domesticated. To a level that's shocking to my friends and myself alike.

But I'm not complaining. I knew this day would come. And guessed that it would probaly be brought about when I meet someone whom I'm totally happy and contented with and whom will fulfil me in more ways than one, causing me not want to look for artificial or short term highs.

I do look back at my clubbing days and have great memories of them, espcecially the years at Viva (who could forget Viva?). I'm sure I'll still club when there's a big enough event or occasion. But it's no longer a need in my life. I'm happy to leave them as wild memories and move on to a new phase in my life.