Compromise

From 100 guests to 340 guests to 200 guests. We just could not agree on how many guests to invite and who to leave out without offending some people.

But we have reached a compromise. We will indeed have 3 weddings. The only difference is that this time everyone is agreeable to it and is even happy with the arrangement. So here’s the plan.

Friday 17^th October night:

Dinner in a Chinese restaurant. I know I said I didn’t want a Chinese restaurant for the wedding but at least it will be a high end, classy Chinese restaurant and not a ching-chong one. The food will be good. We won’t have to argue on who doesn’t get invited because the place will be able to accommodate a few hundred people. And the cost won’t be RM200 per person like a hotel where the place is high end but the food will not be up to par. We’re looking for a Chinese restaurant which is able to accommodate 300 plus guests. Right now, we’ve narrowed it down to Noble House and Happy Valley. The older folks told me that among their peers, Happy Valley is THE place to have a wedding or banquet. But I’m more familiar with the Oriental Group which includes Noble House because I often have Sunday dim sum at Ming Room, also of the same Oriental Group.

Saturday 18^th October morning:

The ‘chip san leong’ (picking up of the bride) will happen in the morning followed by the tea ceremony at my place. Then we’ll head to Paul’s family home before 11.30am (our auspicious hour of marriage which in the eyes of the Chinese is the ‘stepping into the house’ and tea ceremony) for the tea ceremony again. Then we’ll all have a light brunch.

Saturday 18^th October afternoon:

Rest up & get ready for the evening.

Saturday 18^th October evening:

Blessing ceremony and cocktails at the Garden Pavilion at Mont Kiara Damai Resort Condo. I didn’t realize how gorgeous and under utilized this area was. Its beautiful with plants surrounding a hall with high ceiling and chandeliers. With some flowers, candles and décor, this place can look totally magical. Close friends and immediate family will be invited to this cocktail.

About a month later:

The wedding dinner hosted by my dad in JB among his friends and those of my friends who’d want to travel there to have yet another wedding dinner. Oh and my friends from Singapore too.

In conclusion, while this isn’t exactly what I pictured my wedding would be like, it does make all parties fairly happy which is very important to me and seeing how we started off unable to agree on anything, the plan as it is, is almost like a dream come true. We’ve all compromised and we all got what is important to us.

Now I just need to finalize the guests list, the budget for each of the weddings and everyone involved to give their final okay. Once I’ve paid the deposits and secured the locations, I’ll be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Then I’ll start on planning the food, alcohol, corkage, bride’s dress, groom’s suit, accessories, new shoes, photo, video, flowers, candles, décor, catering, cake, party favours, invitation card, seating, officiant, marriage license, band, DJ, sound system, friends’ performances, agenda, wedding planner, ang paus etc.

Angry

I’m so angry. I woke up angry. I’m still angry now.

Last night, we had a family meeting after dinner. My ideal wedding is cosy and personal and graced by the presence of 80 close friends and family. There will be lots of flowers and fairy lights. My dad will be walking me down the garden path which will be scattered with rose petals and flickering candles at the side. I’ll walk up to Paul, we’ll hold hands, say our vows and the pastor will give his blessings. Then I’ll throw the hand bouquet and we’ll all celebrate together and drink champagne.

The in-laws idea of a wedding is 300 people, out of which 50% is not known to the bride and groom. It will be held in a Chinese restaurant because it can accommodate a lot of people without being too expensive and has good food even though there is no ambience. Children will be invited because some families do not have a nanny. Chinese food will be served because fusion or western food will make the older or more traditional relative feel out of place or not able to appreciate the fare that’s laid out. Flowers will not be important because they are expensive and a waste of money.

I’m trying to keep an open mind. I’m trying to understand the Chinese way of thinking (but I’m so not Chinese!). I can understand the theory of “if u invite this person, you can’t not invite this other person”. But it’s because of this that we’ll have an extra 100 people there.

My dream wedding is going further and further away from the reality of being married the Chinese way.

I can’t reiterate enough how I totally get why Fruitcake merely signed the legal papers without having a wedding whatsoever. She did try to compromise and talk to the in-laws but it just became unbearable at one point that she rather not have a wedding at all even though it hurt her to make that decision. And Lola wanted her dream wedding too but due to both sides of the family who wanted to invite the world, she had to hold 2 separate wedding banquets in 2 different locations 1 month apart. And once she was done, she was too exhausted to plan her own dream wedding, not to mention the high cost factor involved. From what I calculated, my wedding will cost more than RM100,000, the bulk of which is attributed to the F&B for 300 over guests.

I can’t imagine doing 3 weddings either but should I just give up my dream just like that, just like so many brides have done in the past?

To be practical, the answer would be yes. This is to save money and appease the in-laws because a good relationship with them matters to me because we’re going to be family for the next few decades.

We’re still working it out and trying to come to a compromise. Paul has been great. I understand he’s in a difficult position, stuck between what his parents want and what we want yet trying to find a balance so that the issues don’t blow up in our faces. He’s trying as much as he can to stick up for me and trying to find the best ways we can all come to a compromise since what we all want is at the total opposite ends of the spectrum. And unlike most grooms, he’s totally involved in the planning process. He’s called up 10 different venues so far.

Well, to all the young girls or single girls out there, please do not dream too much about your wedding. It’s something most girl thinks about at some time of their lives but the reality will crush you. The first few weeks after the proposal will leave you walking on air with a smile on your face. And once the wedding planning starts, the lovey-doveyness quickly turns into gut-wrenching hair pulling pain.

It sounds like a nightmare and it is. Especially when most of the places are already fully booked for the date we want. So not only can’t we agree on a location but the ones which we’re prepared to compromise on have been taken up.

So I’m now hoping to find a venue which is still available and has a garden so that I can do my garden wedding and also a big hall so that the in-laws can invite the rest of the relatives for dinner after that.

I haven’t been this angry in a long time and there’s 9 more months till the wedding.

RIP Edwin Lee

Ed,

We've met each other only a few times, the first time being my very first dive trip to get certified. Each time was always filled with laughter. You've brought a lot of joy into many peoples life and the world will be a sadder place without you. You've touched my life in ways you'll never know. You'll be missed. But you've gone on to a better place now. Rest in peace.

3 weddings?

It’s not fun anymore! There was one week of fun and excitement but very quickly it’s hit a stressful level.

Paul’s parents still want the 17 tables. So once we add tables for my parents’ and our friends, the total amount of guests would mean we would need to hold the wedding in a hotel which is really the last thing we want.

In Asia, a wedding is always about the parents and the relatives of the bride and groom. I didn’t realize this but Jon Dive Master said that traditionally, a Chinese wedding is hosted by the groom’s parents and they are the one who invites the guests, not the bride or groom.

That sucks and we really don’t want a wedding where we don’t know 3 quarters of the guests.

Why must a Asian wedding be about having face and showing off?

Amelia once said that when planning a wedding, your in-laws will become your out-laws. That’s truly coming to pass in my case though I’m trying my best not to let it happen. I’m trying to ensure that everyone is happy but that’s proving to be extremely difficult especially since no party wants to compromise.

I can understand why Fruitcake and others have decided to just sign the official papers but not have any wedding at all. How nice if we could just sign the papers and either go get married in Bali or run away and go directly for our honeymoon without the wedding.

My solution so far is to have a few weddings. Paul’s parent can host one. My dad will host one. And my mum and I will host one. Yes, that’s a total of 3 weddings. Its madness, I know, but I don’t want anyone to be unhappy, lose face or feel like they are losing out. It’s a wedding! It’s a celebration and everyone should be happy!

Thank goodness tomorrow is a holiday. Our day is choc-a-block. We have meetings with a photographer, a wedding planner, another wedding planner, a bridal shop and the Carcosa Seri Negara.

Not to mention Saatchi is going to Krabi on Thursday so I’ve even more planning and coordination to do to add to my stress levels.

Sigh. Pray for my sanity.

And The Wedding Planning Starts!

I started out calm and happy. Then I was extremely excited and happy. I’m now stressed and happy. All within the span of the last few days. The more people I talk to, the more excited and stress I am. The big day has been set for 18 October 2008. So many people can’t believe it’s actually happening! At moments, I can’t either!

Fruitcake, my matron of honour said that pigs will fly. She’s even thinking of mocking up a pig to be flown during the wedding.

A close friends from the UK said ‘What the hell?! Anyone I know?”

18 October isn’t a lot of time considering weddings are now planned one year in advance. It’s all very scary.

I was originally looking at inviting only 100 pax. Something small, cosy and personal. But I just received word that Paul’s side wants 17 tables. That in itself is more than my original total! So looks like a lot of management to be done.

One thing’s for sure- we don’t want the wedding in a hotel or in a Chinese restaurant. We’re thinking more café or garden. Which means the total number of guests needs to be below 200.

So many friends have already all offered to help plan the wedding!

Annie Wong, owner of Annie Wong Couture is a good friend of my mum and she’s seen me grown up. She's been waiting for this day for a very long time. She’ll be sponsoring my wedding and evening gown.

Montecom Productions, whom I’ve works with for a few TVCs has offered to do the videography.

I know I want Seth from Peekaboo for my hair and As You Like It for my flowers.

So now I need to secure the venue, book the photographer, get measured for the dress, select a make up artist, try to get the sponsorship for the alcohol, shop for wedding bands, find out how to do the registry of marriage, do up the wedding invitations, do the budget, save money and so much more!

I thought I could handle it and I know I can if the wedding was for 100 people, judging from the amount of parties I’ve planned and how anal I am about them but my own wedding for a few hundred pax could be a little bit beyond my depth. I think a wedding planner is in order!

Bali 12 - 17 Jan 2008

Before the excitement and stress of the wedding overtakes me, here are some pics from our trip to Bali.

Paul and I stayed at Villa Dedaun in Legain which was simple, zen garden like villa. We had the one bedroom with a pool, a garden bathroom with a garden and high walls surrounding it. It is the most beautiful place I’ve stayed at ever. On top of that, we had breakfast and tea served by the pool side everyday, a mini bar which was replenished everyday, a butler, a foot massage and staff who knew us by name. The location was also excellent as it was hidden away from the busy roads yet is walking distance to the main Kuta town and the beach.

We surfed and got incredible sun burnt!

We then went to Ubud and explored the art heart of Bali.

Santi Mandala in Ubud was a totally different experience in itself as it had a back to nature concenpt including squawking geese, noisy frogs and a completely outdoor bathroom. I shall let the pic speak for themselves.

Bubbles is Engaged!

I’m still on leave today but came into the office to take my camera cable so that I could download the pics of the holiday to Bali and post it up on the blog as well as on Facebook.

Some colleagues saw something on my finger and realized it was a diamond ring and there were a lot of screaming and hugging going on.

Yes, Paul proposed.

It was in the villa on one night after a long and tiring day out. He said “I don’t want to say the usual things guys say and we can’t tell what the future holds but we know that this is what we’ve wanted for our future”. He then took out the Indonesian bear (I collect the Starbuck Bearista Bear Series from the different cities to which I travel) which was holding a red box bearing the diamond ring. “Will you marry me?”

I of course said ‘yes’.

But I was sun burnt and was in pain so I went to sleep after that. Hahaha!

But when we woke up in the morning, we sat by the pool, held hands and listened to Keith Urban’s Memories of Us.

I'm gonna be here for you baby
And I'll be a man of my own word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

(Chorus:)
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother
And I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
And I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way
I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now

And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss
Mmm hummm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust makin' memories of us
Ohhh
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust makin memories of us
Mmmmm
Ohhhhhhhh Oh Baby Mmmmmmm

And now we’re officially engaged.

The first question people ask is “When is the wedding?”. We’re only beginning to plan it now since the engagement was a few days ago but it will be some where end of the year.

And the second question is “Can I see the ring?” So here it is.

I wasn’t planning an engagement party but colleagues were excited and within 5 minutes of seeing the ring, a party was planned. We’ll start with a small pool party at a colleague’s place then we’ll move on to Bar Savanh Too later in the night. It’s a very impromptu party but since I wasn’t planning one anyway, I thought this would suffice and I’ve sent out a few SMSes to those I thought could make it. Not only do I have a party but I’ve friends volunteering with the wedding planning already!

I’d like to post about the entire Bali trip and the breathtaking villa we stayed in but right now I have a barrage of SMSes and MSN messages to reply in regards to the engagement party tonight. And I’m rushing to meet a wedding planner before the engagement party so other pics will be posted up later.

Wedding Proposal Step 1, 2 & 3

Some friends ask me why I picked out my own engagement ring and ruin the surprise of seeing it for the first time. Okay. Here’s the deal.

The way I see it, there are usually 3 steps before a wedding happens. This is with the assumption that the guy is asking the girl. Steps differ slightly if it’s the girl doing the asking.

Step 1: Finding out if she has any intention of marrying you. Note that this is different from asking her for her hand in marriage. Skipping this step would mean risking 3 months salary on a ring only for her to reject you.

Step 2: Buy the diamond ring.

Step 3: Propose to her.

Step 4 (this applies only for more traditional families): Asking for her parents’ permission and blessing.

Men, in general are not very good in planning and not very good with details. And when it comes to something as important as a wedding proposal, ruining it would mean that it will stick with you for the entire duration of your marriage. There is no turning back time or re-proposals. And women usually like fairytale proposals and of course fairytale weddings too, assuming the proposal goes well if they say yes.

Examples of proposals I have heard from friends.

They were watching TV at home and he turns around to her and says “Eh, want to get married, ah?”

They were walking in a mall and they passed a jewelry store and he asked her “Want a diamond ring?”

They were having drinks and singing in a karaoke with a big group of friends and getting drunk when he presented her with a bouquet of flowers and a ring.

They were standing at the beach at Margaret River. It was a place of significance for him. The sun was setting and a soft breeze was blowing. It was the most romantic setting. He turns to her and asks “What would you say if I asked you to marry me?” She pauses a moment and thinks. And she says “So are you asking me to marry me now or are you merely asking me what I would say if you were to ask me?”

They were on a beach. He switches on the camera to video mode and walks towards her. Ensuring he captured her face in the frame, he balances the camera in one hand and reaches his other hand into his pocket and takes out the box which holds the diamond ring hand. He then goes down on one knee, still focusing the camera on her face with one hand. With his other hand, he tries to pry open the box. He tries again. And again. About 2 minutes has passed and she starts to frown at him and the camera, wondering what’s going on. After about another 30 seconds, he passed the camera to her and said “Hold this”. Using his now free hand, he opened the box, thrusts it towards her, looks up with a sweaty face and asks ‘Will you marry me?”

See what I mean? In order to simplify the 3 step process, Paul and I have already discussed marriage. In fact, this was something we wanted within weeks of getting to know each other. But we thought we should get to know each other’s family better and start saving first. So that’s Step 1 is out of the way.

As for Step 2, I’m trying to prevent something disastrous from happening. I was explaining to Salt Boy that talking about a wedding and picking out a ring does not mean I’m engaged yet. So he asks why I picked the ring rather than to have it as a surprise. It is simply because I want to choose my own ring. Can you imagine your boyfriend getting down on one knee in the most romantic of settings and presenting you with a box. You open it and you see the smallest, ugliest diamond ring which is in the wrong shape and wrong setting and wrong material from what you would have liked. And it’s in the wrong size too! Wouldn’t that totally ruin the proposal?

And you could also think “How could he have chosen THAT ring? It’s not me at all. He doesn’t know my tastes. He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t know me. I need to rethink marrying him. It may be a mistake. Imagine him as a father to my kids! He’ll ruin my future and the future of my kids! Noooo!”

That is of course a very extreme scenario but you get where I’m coming from.

So there are a lot of variables which contribute to the perfect proposal and just a 3 second delay can sometimes make one of the most romantic day of your life turn out to be the story you tell to you grandkids in bitterness. “See …. Your Ah Kong …. That was how he proposed to me! And to think I said yes!”

That, coupled with how most men cannot plan and organize things properly is too scary for me to leave too much to chance.

That is also another reason why holidays planned by men are usually haphazard and at times the trip needs to be canceled or if it takes does place, some of the men don’t make it it. But that’s another story.

That’s why I have decided to eliminate Step 1 and 2. Not wanting to have anything to do with Step 3 is scary but it is after all a proposal traditional done by men. I’ve done what I can to ensure that the 66.6% goes well. In these modern day and age, women are more open and want to be partly in control of a relationship. But women still want a bit of romantism. We know chivalry is almost dead but when it comes to the wedding proposal, we still want it to be perfect and a surprise.

Any more funny, unprepared proposals to share with me?

January 2008 is a Fantastic Month

January 2008 is and will continue to be a fantastic month!

We started off the year with the first day of the month being a holiday.

We also had Thursday, 10^th Jan as a public holidays due to Awal Muharam.

I’m going to Bali tomorrow for 6 days, coming back on a Thursday 17^th Jan but will still be on leave on Friday so I’ll have 3 days, including the weekend to recuperate.

I’m back to work on Monday 22nd Jan but I’m only working 2 days because Wednesday 23^rd is another holiday! Thaipusam!

Then from Friday, 25^th Jan till Sunday 27^th Jan is the company trip to Krabi. But as I’m in the planning committee, I’m going a day earlier for the set up! That’s 4 days in Krabi!

Coming back from Krabi, I’m going to work 3 days and the month of January will be over.

So all in all, I’m only working 10 days in this month. Is that fantastic or what?! Whee!

It’s a good month indeed.

I Love My Office

There’s something about this office that makes people want to stay on even after they are done with the work.

It could be that we have a bar here with a fridge full of beer and even Guinness Draught. We have a pool table. And Nintendo Wii where someone or other is usually playing tennis. And we can smoke. Or lounge in a bean bag big enough to fit 3 people.

But besides that, there’s something else but I’m not sure what.

Shell Shell is still here doing actual work but Sin Cyn and are just mucking around.

I love my office.

And Hee Hean should stop asking me to go home cos if u worked here, you’d wanna hang out here till late too!

Up Early Again

Woke up at 5 plus this morning and could not get back to sleep. So instead of tossing and turning around in bed trying to close my eyes and stare at the ceiling and wasting my time, I got up, got dressed and here I am in the office. Of course there’s no one here apart from the cleaner.

There’s not much work to do either since I have a meeting at 10am at the client’s office which I could’ve gone straight from home if my body didn’t decide to get up so early.

So I guess I’ll catch up on my personal emails, blogging and Facebook. Talking about Facebook, I hardly have time to logon anymore and when I do have the extra bit of time to answer messages and to approve addition of friend, I can’t seem to access Fluff Friend properly. I can get into the application but it takes a long while. So I’ve not been able to pet or feed Billy for a long time. Can someone please feed him?!

Thanks and have a great day ahead!

Quality Over Quantity

Last night, I had a filling but fulfilling dinner. Paul and I had a late lunch after waking up feeling tired after the party from Saturday night. So we met Marsupial & Jas and went to Flagz (we wanted to go to Fogal’s meat market but a power cut rendered us bacon-less) for BLT, fried noodles and a bacon & sausage platter. Oh and a Guinness too.

Then we hung out with Ashley at Starbucks at Borders, the Curve. This is supposed to be a ritual of ours, according to Ashley.

After coffee, it was dinner time but I wasn’t too hungry so I made some instant udon noodles. Then went to bed to read but something was missing and I couldn’t figure what it was. I continued reading but felt this emptiness within me. So I got up and opened a pack of Swiss chocolates and ate in bed while I read.

And the moment I put the chocolate into my mouth, my body instantly released endorphins and I suddenly felt so comfortable and lovable and the reading in bed experience was heightened. It was a small but amazing experience. And only really good chocolates is able to deliver that kind of emotion. I forgot how good it could be.

I kinda stopped eating chocolates on a regular basis. But I can’t remember why. It’s definitely nothing to do with putting on weight because a good chocolate is worth a few pounds. It probably happened after I got back from the UK and found the chocolates here to be crap, even some of those which are imported. So I stopped binging on Cadbury, M&Ms, Kit Kat and the likes. And only ate one or two pieces of Pachi and Godiva when the opportunity presented itself.

Seems like the older I get, I definitely prefer quality over quality.

What To Do When There's Not Much Alcohol At A Wedding?

Congratulations May Leen! She was the planner in Saatchi but has quit to get married and move to London with her new hubby. Isn’t that such a dream come true for some?

The wedding was held in Renaissance Hotel and there were 60 over tables.

A few people on the Saatchi tables didn’t show so we had a lot of food. Unfortunately both Salt Boy and Paul were not themselves and didn’t eat for 3 people per person as per what is the norm.

There was also no alcohol except for wine. So when we can’t get high at a wedding and do silly things, we had to make our own entertainment. Here are examples on how.

But non-alcoholic silliness isn’t as fun so Paul and I went to meet Fruitcake & Ed at this happening new club called Pulse at the New Millennium Hotel (formerly known as Regent Hotel). There was a live band which was excellent playing R&B music. The crowd was expat and slightly older. And since I’m not ‘slightly older’, I can appreciate places where there are no teeny boppers or college kids. Unfortunately I was wearing my killer-fabulous-looking-but-killer painful 5 inch heels so I couldn’t dance as much as I would have liked except the times when I kicked it off and didn’t care anymore.

The place is happening! And it has class too. I know this because the elevator only goes to one floor.

It was good hanging out with my partner in crime again. Fruitcake, I miss u!

Not Smoking In Singapore

There is quite a lot to do in Singapore like standing in the middle of Orchard Road during Christmas!

Like recycling.

Like being a tourist.

There is quite a lot to do in Singapore smoking is not one of them. Only a small percentage of eateries have tables allocated to smokers. We were at Walas having a drink. I was smoking when a waiter told me that I’m at a non smoking table and I’ll have to step off the curb if I wanted to continue smoking. So I got off my chair and took 2 steps away and continue smoking. THAT, was allowed. I can understand that Singapore has rules but this is just way too funny!

Guess it worked in a sense cos I smoked a lot less while there. There is just not many places which allows you to smoke and stepping off the curb or walking to a corner is either too troublesome or too odd.

So eventually the new generation of Singaporeans will stop smoking. And the government would have lost income via sin tax. Are they going to be more lax about the smoking rules in 2 decades time in order to gain back their income?

Like when the Singapore government told their citizens to stop having kids because the island was being over populated and then a few decades later, realized that they have the problem of an aging population?

But I did notice a lot of young mothers when I was in Singapore. Has the government done something to encourage marriage and starting families?

Guess it worked in a sense cos I smoked a lot less while there. There is just not many places which allows you to smoke and stepping off the curb or walking to a corner is either too troublesome or too odd.

So eventually the new generation of Singaporeans will stop smoking. And the government would have lost income via sin tax. Are they going to be more lax about the smoking rules in 2 decades time in order to gain back their income?

Like when the Singapore government told their citizens to stop having kids because the island was being over populated and then a few decades later, realized that they have the problem of an aging population?

But I did notice a lot of young mothers when I was in Singapore. Has the government done something to encourage marriage and starting families?

Happy 1st Birthday Isabelle Halle Ng

Happy 1^st Birthday Isabelle Halle Ng!

And just like that, my god daughter is one year old, one year has passed and we’re all growing a little older.

Fruitcake and Ed held the Belle’s first birthday party at My Dining Room at their condo on Tropicana.

Lots of relatives came. And lots of our friends came with their babies.

Of all my clubbing friends, most are married and with kids. And they all agree that while they are parents now, the days of clubbing are still dear to their hearts though that doesn’t necessarily feel like they want to go clubbing every weekend like before.

Guess I’m moving onto a new phase of life. I’m no longer scared of babies! I can even carry them for long periods of time and not feel scared or disgusted or be fearful that they puke or spit on me.

So here are some pics of babies which I’m not freaking out about and even do consider cute.

Friends tell me that they caught me in a maternal moment. Is that possible? It’s me! Well, I guess I’m warming up to babies and the idea of babies.

Ed & Belle.

Fruitcake & Belle.

Chris & Ayden. Chris our dear DJ from Viva has a 1 year old son! And looks like he likes it rough.

Sue Ann & Kay Lee. Look at the cheeks on her!

My little god daughter.

Friends & Babies.

Babies really do like paper and boxes more than the actual present. So does this mean that we should give out boxes to babies till they are at least 3 years old? Or buy a toy meant for a 3 year old baby for a 1 year old baby and let them play with the box first. They'll appreciate the toy when they grow older.