Every 2 years or so, my ex uni mates and i would meet up for a reunion and catch up session. As the years go by, the group naturally gets smaller in terms of the original group but bigger in terms of organic growth. Last night at Souled Out, one of them brought her husband and baby. Of course most of them we cooing, oohing and aahing. As for me, i was just glad i was seated at the other end of the table. Yet i think I've made some sort of progress. I no longer cringe or feel disgusted when I'm near a baby. I just don't feel the urge to hold them or make funny faces at them yet.
I feel I'm so far away from being ready for marriage. What more having babies.
I don't think I'm ready to be a wife or have traits of what a wife should be. Well i was about a year ago until someone convinced me otherwise and put me in a position where i didn't have the chance to prove him wrong.
Yet, over the years i received several marriage proposals as well as intent to do so. This started many years back when i know i wasn't ready so i shrugged it off. Now as i get closer to being ready and as more of these conversations come about, it leads me to think: Is my mind and body telling me something I'm consciously trying to suppress thus it emanates my potential readiness in vibes i don't even know i'm sending?
After that dinner i went to a birthday party of a guy i was seeing for a short while a few months back. Granted he was a little drunk but he came up to my table and says he is going to concentrate on career for a few more months but after that he's going to be ready and he's going to pursue me and that he wants a family. What?? Where did that come from? And just a few days ago another friend confides that he thinks i would make a good wife, in a year or 2.
This is so freaky! I don't think i will be ready soon but yet so many guys think otherwise.
This is something for me to ponder about.
Guess I'll start with something more bite sized. I'm going to be a god mum! Gerry is 5 months pregnant and the scan shows that it's 90% a girl. I'm the god ma and Danny Woon will be the god pa. She says we're both psychotic and sometimes she lays in bed worrying how we'll do as god parents. I say, no worries! God parents are supposed to be a lil mad and zany and fun so that the kids can come to them when they are upset with their parents. And we can give good and fun advise! I can't wait. As long as i get to buy toys to play with the kid. Also i can use the kid as an excuse when i want to go play in the 2 storey kids play area in 1U with the slides and stuff! Thanks Gerry for this honour.
Oh and don't forget we're supposed to go ride in the animal train while u r pregnant so that we can tell the kid that we took her for rides even before she was born! What a lucky kid.
Thanks for this honour.
From your kid's godma.