5 hours Meeting, 5 Hour Report, 2 Hour Debrief

I spent 5 hours yesterday in a meeting with the client which ended at 10pm in their office.

The only consolation this time is that they ordered pizza. Which came with Coke thankfully. Or we'll be starved and parched again.

As soon as the meeting was done, I got into my car and drove home while some stayed on for a few drinks.

As soon as I got into work this morning, I went out for another meeting. And as soon as i got back, I had lunch then spent 5 hours writing out a report for the meeting yesterday.

And there after i spent another 2 hours debriefing the team on the meeting and discussing next steps.

This means I've spent 12 hours in a meeting, reporting on that meeting and debriefing about that meeting.

So where will I find the time to do any work resulting from the meeting?

This is so counter-productive. And totally ridiculous.

And the client asks us why it seems that nothing gets done.

Preparing for Komodo

It's not often I'm excited about a trip. I attribute it to being older, having more experiences in life and and traveling to a fair amount of different destinations.

So a trip is usually just a welcomed getaway or for a specific reason be it visit friends, shopping etc.

But I'm actually excited about Komodo. After the diving re-fresher course yesterday, Jon the Diver, Paul & I headed to Global Scuba in 1U to look at gear.

I don't need a wetsuit since I was so enthusiastic (despite the fear) that I bought it even during my Scuba Discovery Course. And I do have a mask. But they are both black and I'd like to have some distinguishing factor when all suited up under water.

Somehow most dive gear are in black, yellow and sometimes purple. And not very nice shades of those colours either. Boring.

I'm really looking forward to the baby pink fins and mask which I've ordered and should be collecting next week.

Before a trip, I love to prepare for it. Like learning a new language when you're going to a country where English is not the primary language.

So when it comes to diving, I guess it's buying gear since i can't possibly learn to talk Fish.

Tho I'd like to try and swim like a dolphin and talk to them less I get to see one in Komodo.

Bubbles is Going to Komodo!

I know that the economic situation is bad and we should all be bucking down, eating in and spending less but an opportunity has come along that's too good to give up but it will cost RM12,000 (For Paul & I)!

Jon the Diver, Paul & I are going diving in Komodo! Yes, the place with the komodo dragons.

But we'll be living on board a boat so we'll be safe. From the komodo dragons at least.

My last dive trip, which was also my Open Water Certification, was in Redang 2 years ago. So I've forgotten a lot about the technicalities and feel of diving. So yesterday Jon, Paul & I went to the Polo Club in Kota Damansara and did a diving refresher.

I'm actually very freaked out with water. I swim with my head above the water. So diving and being totally submerged in water is really scary for me. Yet it's something I really want to do. Maybe not doing pool sessions and learning everything in the sea during my Open Water added to my fear. But yesterday was great and I re-learnt a lot of the skills and am now a lot more comfortable in the water. At least my bouyancy is under control somewhat.

And I'm ready for Komodo!

Komodo sounds so exotic and it's a place I never thought of going. But Jon the Diver who just came back from Makasar, suggested it and it sounded great!

It was supposed to be just for 6 days, followed by 4 relaxing days in Bali. But we've been told that there are so many dive sites in Komodo that a full 10 days is recommended.

So now I need to go buy my pink fins and pink mask, pack up and go! Komodo!

Recession in Malaysia & China?

Signs of Malaysia being in recession seems to be more apparent now.

Apart from the retrenchment of 5 people in my office, I also read that Dell is offering VSS and will be retrenching 5% of their work force in Malaysia. A friend who works in an electronic manufacturing firm may be out of a job when the company shuts down his division in the second half of this tear.

But we're still doing fairly well comparatively.

And China is still booming despite The Star today reporting massive loss of jobs there.

And I know this because I recently received calls from headhunters regarding jobs in China. These are fairly high level jobs and they're offering expat packages with the pay range of RMB35,000 to RMB60,000.

Here I was thinking the the RMB is a large denomination currency and therefore it does not amount to much.

So I went to my favourite currency converter site, coinmill.com and checked how much is RMB60,000 in RM.

I almost fell off my chair when I found it was in access of RM30,000!

It is a lot of money for me anyway, considering the level I'm at and the exposure I've had so far.

So if China can pay an expat that much (and I have loads of friends who have moved there a few years ago with no signs of coming back), they can't be in recession, can they?

Are We In A Recession?

Given the 2 rounds of retrenchments in my company and news that tens of thousands of people are out of a job in Malaysia, it feels like the bubble finally burst and recession has truly hit our shores.

But I was in Jarrod & Rawlin's in Damanara Heights for dinner and the place was full of large groups of people laughing and having a jolly good time. Dinner and drinks for 5 of us come up to almost RM600. So that place isn't exactly a place for those on a budget.

And recently, I've been getting a few calls regarding jobs within the industry.

Isn't that surprising?

We're in recession, supposedly, but so many agencies are hiring. And hiring pretty aggressively too.

So actually, are we really in a recession?

Retrenchment

For weeks I've been feeling uneasy about work. It's not just about the work itself because that sucks ass big time but hey what can you do ......

I just felt that something is up and that the the energy in the office is dark, very negative, almost oppressive.

But I just couldn't put my finger on it.

There seems to be several management meetings a week and after the meetings in the board room, a couple of the directors will gather in the glass meeting rooms and talk further.

They then have a staff meeting to tell everyone how the agency is moving forwards and how we're in a good place and everything is dandy. Trying to spread a feel good factor.

But we're not buying it. In fact, we all walk out feeling like they're trying to cover up something.

So I've been uneasy all week. Until last Friday that is.

I was stuck in a glass meeting room for almost an entire day for a discussion and brain storm session. When I emerged at 8pm, I saw groups of people huddled around looking shocked and bewildered. Wondering what happened, I walked up to the Creative Group Head.

Me: What happened?

CGH: You didn't hear?

Me: No. What happened?

CHG: 3 people have been retrenched.

Me: What???!!

So i emerge from an 8 hour meeting only to find that 3 of my colleagues were told to pack up and go within 24 hours.

Even better was my manager who asked another colleague of mine today.

Manager: Where's that fella? His desk is so clean.

Other colleague: Oh you didn't hear?

Manager: No, what happened?

Other colleague: He's been retrenched.

Manager: What?!!

And so it goes. Management is not telling the staff whats going on and no announcements have been made that there's been retrenchment. So people walk into the office to find some collegues missing. And even worst, that a new person is sitting in their colleagues place.

I can understand the retrenchment. What I don't understand is they way they go about doing it.

I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to handle retrenchment but I do know that doing it the way they've done it is leaving the remaining staff feeling puzzled, scared and demotivated.

Open Plan Office

Some companies choose an open plan office as they want to have more transparency within it's walls.

My company believes in that. We have rows and rows of work stations and no one gets a room, even the MD or CEO.

But we do have rooms albeit with glass walls. Again, to promote transparency.

But I don't think it works. Sometimes, there are phone calls one needs to make which you don't want the world to know about. Or sometimes a boss needs to reprimand a subordinate and that should be done in private. Or HR needs to have a meeting to talk about salary or n employee's performance.

So now instead of ensuring nothing is hidden, every time someone goes into the glass rooms and especially if they look grim, people start speculating what's going on.

I don't think it works at all.

I've a Wii ...... Whee!!!!!

I've been so stress lately that I drag my feet in thru the door, drop my work bag and laptop and collapse onto the sofa.

So Paul decided to surprise me a few days ago and got me a ..... Nintendo Wii!

We've been looking at it for ages but I just could not bring myself to buy it especially since we have a PS3 already.

We spent last weekend at home playing bowling and tennis on the Wii.

He also bought the Wii Fit ad-on. Which we both love!

The Wii Fit told us our BMI, how much to lose / put on, how to correct our posture & centre of gravity, what are the areas we need to work on and a plan and timeline on how to achieve it! And even a virtual personal trainer to encourage us!

So I'm on a plan to put on 8lbs (of muscle) in 3 months. Now if only I can find the time and energy to use the Wii Fit after work everyday......

Well, at least I've the option to exercise even if it's only for 10 mins at home on the Wii Fit. Alternatively, I could play tennis, bowling, golf or boxing without needing to leave my living room.

Wheeeeeee!!!

Remember To Breathe

Breathe.

I sometimes need to remind myself to breathe.

And not only when I'm stressed or when I'm holding a tough yoga pose nor when I'm about to experience serious pain.

But it happens when everything is normal.

Sometimes I'm just sitting and watching TV or reading a book. Totally relaxed. Then my brain sends a signal "Hey I'm running outta oxygen. You need to breath!".

Then I'm like, "Oh. Breathe. Yes."

Then I take a deep breath and fill my lungs.

Does that happen to you?

Or is that just me?

Strange things like that happen to me for some reason or another.

Working 9-5

There was a time in my life when my version of a worst job ever was a 9-5 job.

I rather have a fun, casual working environment where we can go to work in t-shirts and jeans (even shorts sometimes!), throw paper airplanes (or just job requisitions squished up into a ball) at people or race around the office seating in office chairs (the ones with the wheels).

I could not work if it wasn't in an adrenaline filled, trouble shooting on the fly, never say die, time crisis environment.

But now ..... what I wouldn't give for a stable 9-5 job, with more annual leave (and not have to worry or make / receive calls when away on holiday), dental benefits and a bonus at the end of the year.

Of course with the state of the world, I must be dreaming to even imagine a cushy job.

People are losing their jobs and worrying about their rice bowls.

So no matter how tough it is currently, no matter how much I cry or no matter how much I doubt myself, it's probably still a better situation to be in.

That's what I keep telling myself.

Thank you to friends and readers for all your words of encouragement.

I'll probably emerge stronger after this .... but why put myself thru this shit??!!! It's not worth it!!! No no no wait ... pull back. Breathe ... yes I've been reminding myself to breathe a lot these days.

I'm just taking it one day at a time. Anyway with the unstability of the market, no point planning too far away anyway. Tomorrow is another day and I sure hope it's a good one!

Too Tired to Go For A Holiday ..... But Went For One Anyway

About 3 weeks ago, I blogged that I was too tired for a holiday.

But after looking at my condition, Paul said we just had to go.

It was also my belated birthday present, which by the way happened on 1st Feb but I didn't have time to blog about it. The past few posts will explain why.

I should blog about my birthday. Hmmm ... okay, later.

So last weekend, during the long weekend due to Thaipusam, Paul and I took off to Penang and checked into the G Hotel. It's the newest hotel along Gurney Drive. It's chic and modern. It maintains an air of classiness without the usual hotel stuffiness.

I slept (a lot!) and went shopping just next door in Gurney Plaza and bought 3 pairs of shoes in this place called Shoe Point which had nice shoes and most importantly, not available in KL. Im sick of shopping in Vincci and Nose and seeing another girl wear the same shoe the next day.

Ah, shoes! That's still a passion of mine and that makes me happy. Will post a pic of the new shoes later. They're prussion blue, canary yellow and pale gold!

We met one of Paul's friends and we did what Penang was famous for - eat. We went to a hawker centre and ordered char kway teow, tom yum soup, corn, muah chee, chicken wings, fried noodles, BBQ fish and more. Unfortunately, the food just wasn't that great. Not up to par to what I remember Penang's food as being anyway. What happened? Paul thinks the best hawkers moved to KL.

We also spent an afternoon at the pool side, driving around and I went to the spa too.

All in all, a nice restful lil getaway. It was a nice 3 days.

Unfortunately the first day at work after the holiday negated all the therapeutic qualities of the holiday.

I'm still in the office now. I better go innit?

It's the even of Valentine's Day too! But there goes our dinner plans.

Have a good Valentine's Day everyone.

Wishing you lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Promise I'll blog more and more often but for now, I better get back to my hubby. Toodles!

Is It Worth It?

Now that I'm in my 30s, climbing up the career ladder, holding a pretty high position and taking home a fair amount of $ each month, I'm asking myself .... "Is it all worth it?"

After 3 months into the new job, I can say with conviction, it is not.

I thought maybe it's me. Maybe I've not grown into the new role. Maybe my job scope is different now and I need to adjust. Maybe it's a new environment and I've not assimilated.

I'm feeling so much self doubt and anxiety. I work such long hours. And the worst thing about it is going home thoroughly exhausted but not being able to sleep cos my mind is still whirling from 14 hours of brain picking. So I end up with a lack of sleep but needing to start the next day with a run.

Being this high up in a corporation is new to me. So I spoke to a few friends. Friends who were older and had more experience in the rat race.

"Does it get any easier the higher up you go?" I asked them.

"No" was their immediate answer.

That doesn't help matters does it!

One friend suggested that I quit everything, move to an island and catch fish to feed myself. That's all well and good if i were white. But being Asian, that's just not in my blood.

Money is very important. But even I think you should not sell your soul for it.

"Is it worth it?" i asked a few other friends.

"No" was their immediate answer. Again.

So not only is it not worth it but it gets harder?

That's not nice at all.

So why do we do it? I don't know. All I know is that I go home and feel like crap everyday. I literally drag my feel through the door because I've that little energy left. The money in the bank at the end of the month is great tho. But is it all worth it?

Probably not.

No one ever said on their death bed, "I wished I spent more time in the office".

Again, then why do we do it? I'll go away and ponder about that now.

Cruel

Was it really 3 weeks since my last blog? That's madness! But unfortunately very true.

It took an anonymous reader to post a comment, asking me if I've stopped blogging and that he / she missed my writing.

That gave me a jolt.

Writing and blogging is one of the joys in my life but like many things that make us happy in life, we don't seem to have enough time to do the. Why is that?

My days have all turned topsy turvy since I started this new job.

Just a few days ago I was in 7 hour meeting where there was no official breaks (but i got up and went to the loo anyway whenever I needed to) and there was no water served despite it being requested. But I got smart and brought my own mug (yes, to the client's office) so that I can easily access the water cooler.

That got me thinking. Maybe the client does not serve water so that everyone pees less, thus less toilet breaks are needed which results in more time spent in the meeting. A far out theory? Maybe. But why else would they do it?

A friend asked why they did that and commented that it's almost ..... cruel.

Cruel. Yes I think that's an apt description to what I've been subjected to the past few weeks.

Too Tired For A Holiday

My life these days starts out in bed where I toss and turn, fight the alarm clock and snooze for an hour. By 9am, I jump out of bed, get ready and hope I get into work before 10am.

I then work furiously and relentlessly for 10 - 12 hours with not much of a lunch break and then I'm home to meet Paul for dinner, a bit of telly then off to bed.

This is my standard schedule from Monday till Friday.

Come Saturday, it's usually spent running errands or cleaning the house.

And if we're lucky and there's no accessive errands or chores, we'll get to stay in on Saturday night and stay up watching movies and eating a barrel of KFC.

And Sunday is when we sleep in and laze around or meet friends.

So it's no surprise that I now no longer have time for sufficient sleep, to blog, check my facebook, or go to a spa.

Instead it's a race against the washing machine. How much can it wash and dry versus how much can I fold and iron? Can i work faster than it can spew out clean clothes?

I'm so tired, I don't even want to go on holiday. I just want to stay in and sleep. Paul was really sweet, suggesting that we go away for the weekend during my birthday. But I think a nice dinner and a good nights sleep would be the best idea yet!

Chinese New Year is in 3 days and I've yet to clean the house. The plan is to do it tonight and over the weekend. Not sure if that's enough time. But I'll have to do what I can.

Not looking forward to CNY. Really hot weather and lots of people to visit. Rather stay in, vege out on the sofa and watch a movie. And sleep.

Sleep is really all I think of these days.

Cutting Down on Smoking, Not Quitting.

Screw it! My quitting smoking strategy has changed. I can't sit around for 3 hours being totally unproductive while I suck on a straw and obsess about how badly I need and want a cigarette.

And I find that with a pack of cigarette in my bag, I'm able to function much better throughout the day and crave for cigarettes less. Sometimes I fell like having a cigarette but I don't, because I tell myself I can have one later since it's in my bag anyway. And by doing this, I'm down to 3 - 5 cigarettes a day. My usual is 7 - 10.

It's when there are no cigarettes around, that's when my mind stops functioning and can only think about smoking. It's madness! Trying to quit has taken over my life and i can't of nothing else but how badly I need a cigarette when clearly, I don't.

It's 6.30pm and I've only had 2 sticks today. Once after lunch. And once at tea time. Not too bad if I can say so myself.

It's in a bar (which I hardly go to anymore, yay!) or when having coffee with friends, that's the hardest to smoke just one.

Seriously ... coffee and cigarettes ... they go hand in hand.

Okay I know that cigarettes is bad for the body. But I figures I still really enjoy smoking. And if I stop cold turkey like I did for 2 days, it can lead to anxiety, stress, insomnia, and depression?! That's madness. Quite smoking for health but get a host of other illnesses?

So I figured that I'll still smoke (because it feels sooo good!) but only when I really want one and really am able to enjoy one. I shall no longer smoke because I'm bored or because everyone else around me is smoking.

I can now sit at a table of smokers and not smoke myself.

Yay!

And the battle continues.

To everyone out there who's trying to quit, good luck!

Quit Smoking - Day 2

Since quitting smoking almost 2 days ago, my taste buds have totally cleared and everything tastes so good! Last night after dinner, I ate chocolate, biscuits and peanuts before bed. Today, after lunch, I finished 3 large slices of pannatone which I brought to work.

No wonder people who quit smoking put on weight. Everything tastes so good! And of course it also gives you something to do with your hands.

I've been reading a lot about quitting smoking. I know one can grow fat cos they eat more. But one could also get depressed! Quitting one habit to gain an illness is really not good!

I already feel agitated. And I've friends who are depressed. Depression causes you to not be able to function in normal every day life. Depression causes you to want to jump off buildings!

I rather be a smoker than a depressed person!

I'm going a bit crazy now. Paul's going to the gym. I'm going to go join him. Nothing like a physical work out to get the crazy thoughts out of my head. Plus after a work out, the fresh air in my lungs should negate any thoughts if beautiful grey clouds swirling around me forming a mist ..... argh! I'm going to the gym. Now!

Trying to Quit Smoking Since 1 Jan 2009

As of today, I've not smoked for 1 3/4 days. Almost 2 days! I decided that 1 Jan 2009 would be the date that I quit. I pressured Paul into doing it too because there's just so many reasons to do it with the first and foremost being wanting to be parents at some point in the near future. So its not for our health (smokers don't ever consider this a factor) but it's to give the kid the best start possible, from conception onwards. I'm also reading What To Expect When You're Expecting and will be interviewing OBGYNs soon.

So after our New Year Eve party which ended at 4am, I went to bed and woke up at 3pm. Paul and I cleaned up the house, went out for dinner, walked around for a bit and came back. Paul promised he'll quit after he finished his last pack. I said okay. Fair enough.

The first smoke free day went without a hitch. No cravings. No nothing! I thought it was pretty easy. If only.

Came into work this morning and greeted Michelle Who Stays on the Seashore. She quit on 1 Jan too along with her partner.

We went to make coffee in the morning as usual but didn't detour to the stairwell for our morning smokes. The morning went by pretty quickly.

Then we went for lunch. We had our usual cravings for a cigarette after lunch. But that's to be expected. Then we saw a couple of people light up. We tried to ignore them. I sucked on a straw. Pretending it's a cigarette. It worked. For a while.

It's really not so much the nicotine but the hand-to-mouth action and having something to do with your hands and mouth. It helps so much when you're in a ackward situation. Or meeting a new group of people who smokes.

Since coming back from lunch, about 3 hours ago, I've thought about smoking about 30 times. It's all consuming. I can't work. I can only sit here, suck on my straw and imagine holding a stick between my fingers, the bright spark followed by the fire, then the deep inhalation and my lungs being filled with cool menthol air. And when I exhale, the smoke coming out like a dragon, the smoke enveloping me like a beautiful grey cloud, lifting me senses......

I can't help it (furtively and desperately sucking on my straw)!

Since writing this post, i thought about smoking another 15 times.

Wow this is tough.

I know I've not posted much on the wedding or the honeymoon but seriously, I need to share with you my trying to quit smoking experience.

I think this is when the anger and irritation sets in.

I know this isn't forever. I really love and enjoy smoking but recently have been doing it out of boredom, to relieve stress or just cos of habit. I wanna trash all of that and smoke when I really feel like having a cigarette. That means a few sticks a week which I think is fine. But I really do need to quit for at least a few months before i pick up social smoking just cos I can. Or after the baby. Or something. I can't think anymore!

I feel light headed. I dunno if it's the withdrawal symptoms. Or me taking really deep breaths through my plastic straw. Or winding my legs too tightly against my body.

I need a cigarette! Now............................

My Wedding Website

I know I'm supposed to blog about the wedding.

But in the last 58 days since I've been married, I've been away for the honeymoon then came back and started a new job. Then I've been working working working. And when I'm not working, I'm either sleeping, running errands or moving house. It's been mad!

But I know it's something I have to do as soon as I can.

So for those who have been waiting for updates, I'm so so sorry.

In the meantime, how about checking out my wedding website?

Info on the wedidng can be found there, along with lotsa photo galleries, including the ones from the fairy wedding.

I will post about the wedding soon over here. Just as soon as I'm able to get out of the office, get something to eat, do the laundry, do the banking, move house, unpack and get some sleep .......

1 Month Anniversary.

I've been married for a month. How fast is that?!

The most common question I've been asked recently is "So, how's married life?"

Really, there's no difference. We're still us and we still treat each other the same. It could be because we started our relationship already knowing that we wanted to be married to each other.

The past one month has been a total whirlwind! 10 months of planning which culminated in 3 weddings over 1 week. Right after the final wedding, we flew off to the Gold Coast for almost 2 weeks. We got back and started work the next day.

It was mad!

I know I've so much to blog about - the weddings, the honeymoon, starting work etc....

But I'm still in the office now. Working.

But I promise to blog about the events thats happened in the last one mont ASAP.

I'll back date them.

Till then!

Happy Halloween 2008!

No Halloween Party this year unlike every other year because I'm in Gold Coast. Guess going on my honeymoon is a good enough reason not to have the standard Halloween parties.

Have a ball everyone and Happy Halloween!

Check out the post this time last year for some older Halloween pics.

So Much To Blog About

There's so much I want to blog about!

The Chinese wedding, the Tea Ceremony, the Fairy Wedding, the JB wedding ........

But there's just no time and and we're off to Gold Coast tonight.

So once we're back from our honeymoon, I'll be blogging about all the above and the honeymoon.

Will be back in 2 weeks so do come back then! Thanks!

7 Hours Till the Chinese Wedding

Woke up about 10 plus this morning feeling lazy and refreshed. Paul went out to get his truck washed then he'll send it over to the florist for it to be decorated.

Meanwhile I pottered around the house, put away some stuff and logged online to check my mail. Then I had a barrage of MSN messages, all of my friends asking "It's your wedding today! How come u still have time to come online??!".

I just told them that everything is done. I'm just sitting here chilling, checking mail, chatting, blogging ......

My girls will all arrive at 1 plus with tapau-ed lunch. We'll eat then get ready for the make up artist to come and we'll be ready at 5pm to meet the guys and head down to KL for the Chinese dinner.

I'm actually quite surprised that there's not the slightest hint of butterflies in my tummy.

Sin Cyn, guess there's no need to tranquilize me anymore as planned.

Apart from having an excellent team to help me plan the wedding, guess it also means that the wedding will go smoothly and that I'm ready for this union.

Let the show begin!

A Night Before the Chinese Wedding, 2 Nights Before the Fairy Wedding

Believe it or not, people have been calling up today to say they can't make it to the wedding or that they are bringing someone. So the RSVPs needs to be changed along with the seating arrangements. And the wedding is tomorrow. Madness. I was trying to reaarange everything till it got to a point when i said SCREW IT! I ain't gonna be stressed out the day before my wedding. Those who can't come, doesn't matter. Those who want to bring someone, they can't. It's as simple as that. I revised the guests list as best as I could then Paul and I went to 1U to jalan-jalan, had dinner then went for a 2 hour full body massage. That was really nice n relaxing.

Tomorrow is the Chinese wedding and I'm guessing I'm not at all nervous cos at Chinese weddings, there's not that much for the couple to do but to cut the cake, make a toast, go round to the tables, smile and drink. Easy peasy.

But the fairy wedding is on Saturday and that's the one I've been working on for the past 10 months. From an event organizer's point of view, this is my baby and my biggest event ever. A lot of sweat and tears (thankfully no blood!) have been poured into planning this wedding and everything needs to be executed flawlessly for it to be the magical event which I've envisioned.

Yet I'm not worried at all. I believe it's thanks to my wedding planning committee. I have a team of more than 20 people involved (for a wedding with less than 100 guests). Many of them are close friends of which many are in advertising and events so I can totally trust in their skills in planning and time management.

I think I'll be able to sleep quite soundly tonight.

After so many months, it's hard to believe THE day is finally here.

Wish me a magical wedding!

RSVPs still coming in

I'm supposed to be chilling and doing things are a leisurely pace for the next few days leading up to the wedding.

I have all my things in place and the team knows exactly what to do.

But as with all events, there'll always be curve balls.

I've done up the final guest list and done up the seating too because the RSVP deadline was on 1 Oct.

But till now, I still have friends RSVPing to say they are coming.

So I'm constantly going back to my Guest List and Seating Plan and moving people about.

And my mum, being the last minute person she is, will not be done with her RSVP till Wednesday!

This is so frustrating. But I'm not allowed to be frustrated.

Sigh. I'm going to Mid Valley and The Gardens now. The make up artist told me to go buy the Shu Uemura bridal eye lashes. Apparently this is THE fake eye lashes for a bride to use.

I'll also go walk about and just relax before picking up one of my bridal gowns this evening.

Just a few more days to go. I'll survive this.

Embarrassing Stories Part 2

I was thinking about my previous post about embarrassing stories and I remembered a time when I used to be so easily embarrassed.

I could never hide my feelings because I'll be blushing. I used to blush so easily! And when someone notices my red face, they'll point out "Look at her! She's blushing!".

I'll then turn from a tomato red to a deep beet red.

After a while, it was a hassle turning red all the time. So I got fed up and decided not to get embarrassed anymore. And the easiest way of doing that is to not hide anything and be totally honest about everything. If I express all my thoughts and every silly thing Ive done, there's nothing anyone can bring up against me and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Problem settled.

So I guess I won't be a blushing bride on my wedding. Hah!

Dishing Out the Embarassing Stories at the Wedding

During the final wedding planning committee meeting, Fruitcake the Matron of Honour and Jon, Paul's best man threatened to dish the dirt on us during the speeches at the wedding.

I know Paul is quite 'clean' so they won't be able to get much about him.

And somehow though I've dome so many insane things in my life, I'm not afraid at all. Simply because there's not much I've done that my friends don't know about.

Like the time I broke my foot when I fell off a pole in Iguazu Club in Bangsar and continued dancing till Fruitcake asked me why I was dancing on one foot to which I replied I was not but looked at my foot anyway and realized that my foot was the size of a loaf of bread. I was then rushed to the Accident & Emergency of Pantai Hospital. That was about 4 in the morning. But I was so high on whiskey that I was giggling all the way there and laughing so loud that patients probably thought I was a mental patient having a relapse. I asked for the doctor but he was walking away so I yelled at him even louder and he came to me and said "Girl, I have a patient upstairs who is having a heart attack. So I think he needs me more than you do right now. So if it's okay with you, I'll go up for a while and I'll come back down to see you shortly, okay?". I nodded my head. I may be drunk, but I'm still nice. When the doc came back, I insisted that the doctor put my foot in a cast (because I wanted friends to sign on it) which he said it was not required but I insisted so loudly that we finally compromised and he let me leave in a pair of crutches (which I still have).

Or the time I had a thing for this guy and we were chatting at my poolside till 3am. When I finally went up, my mum thought I was asleep in my room so she locked the door and I could not get in. I didn't bring money with me, thinking it's just going to be a chat at the pool. So I had to call Marsupial who lived 5 mins away, woke him up and told him I was on the way in a cab and that he had to come down to pay for the cab fare and that I was crahsing at his place for the night.

Or the time when Fruitcake and I were in Stringfellows in London and we were looking in awe at the male stripper. I was particularly shocked by his 'package' and asked my then boyfriend if he thought it was real to which he replied "Why don't you go find out?" I then started jumping up and down in front of the stripper and started waving my hands. He took one of my hands and pulled me up onto the stage. I started dancing with him and i ran my fingers down his chest, then to his abs (boy, did he have ABS!) and then lower and grabbed his 'package'. I then turned to my then ex and Fruitcake who were on the floor below me, nodded my head and mouthed "OMG! It's real!". The stripper retaliated by coming at me from the back, held on to my waist and fliipped me up and around. Twice. I did a full cart wheel without even me moving myself. When I got back down to the floor, Fruitcake whispered in my ear "I'm glad you decide to wear underwear tonight". Till this day, I'm wondering how a guy who's almost one foot shorter than me, is able to flip me that way.

Anyway, what else is there ....? Lots more stories.

But Fruitcake was there during many of the crazy events so even if she was going to bring up the stories, they'll probably be more inciminating for her because in reality, she's the nutty one. Nuttier than me though she'll argue on that one but sometimes she's in denial.

If only I was blogging then. There'll be so many more stories because my life was so much wilder then. Our one year in London alone will be enough to publish a book on 'Crazy Things We've Done'.

I'll proudly relate the stories to friends just after they happen because most of the time, it's really funny and it makes for good story telling.

So I'm thinking, apart from the reason above, maybe all the while I was preparing for my wedding. Better to tell the stories and have everyone be entertained for many occasions and for many years rather than to be embarassed on my wedding day?

Then again, Fruitcake says I can't be embarrassed.

I think I can. I just can't think of any embarrassing events at this point.

Fairies and Garden Gnomes

A friend just MSNed me to ask how the wedding prep was going so I updated him that it's going very well indeed.

And I was wondering, apart from my bridesmaids and Joyce Kinky Blue Fairy, who else will come dressed up.

He said that he'll come as a garden gnome.

I think that's an excellent idea! Even tho he's probably joking.

Whenever I ask a guy friend if he's dressing up, they usually respond with "You must be joking" and give me this wide eyed, mouth gaping look.

Or they'll just stare at me, furrow their brows, cock their heads to one side, squint a little and walk away.

Marsupial will do his standard -ine-I'll-humour-you-but-you're-out-of-your-mind look while shaking his head really slowly from left to right.

I can't wait to see Joyce who's been so excited about the wedding right from the start. She's even bought her wand from Bali. And Looqy who's in New York and has ordered her wings just for the wedding.

Why do girls get more excited about dressing up and going for themed parties more than guys?

Less Than A Week To Go!

The wedding planning committee came over to my place today for coffee, cakes and to finalize the wedding plans and to ensure everyone knew their exact roles and what will happen when. The meeting went well, all questions were clarified and apart from Jon the best man who asked "And when's the wedding again?", everything was settled.

So my role from now till Friday is to not do anything pertaining to the wedding. I'm just gonna chill.

Apart from going for a mani and a pedi, and to the spa, Sin Cyn passed me the Private Practice box set so I'm just gonna stay home and watch that all of next week. Or go have tea with friends.

Oh, my mum just told me that Jimmy Choo can't make it to the wedding cos he'll be giving a talk in Japan. And neither can his prodigy who owns Lewre shoes who will be in Istanbul at that time. And Melinda Looi has a prior engagement. But Bill Keith, Alvin Tang, Albert King and Annie Wong will be present. Along with some people from the Prestige magazine.

So I'm going to have a nice mix of close friends, colleaguaes, some celebrities and media people there.

Can't believe the wedding is less than a week away!

To my wonderful wedding planning committee, I can't thank you enough for what you've done and what you'll be doing coming this Saturday.

It's all in your hands now. Make magic happen.

This Moment, A Week From Now

This exact time next Saturday, I would be married (we're bringing the Registrar of Marriage to us), taking photos with friends and family and having cocktails while waiting for more guests to arrive for the second part of the wedding (not only are there several weddings but the Fairy one has 2 parts to it). I would have signed the marriage certificate, don on my white fairy wings and be ready for the fairy bridal march.

The wedding is just one week away and I'm glad to say that there's not even a hint of panic or rushing through the To Do List simple because nearly everything is done!

After 10 months of planning and running around (with the last 6 weeks being the most frenzied), finally, there's really not that much left to do.

I did tell myself that the one week before the wedding is for chilling and total relaxation. No more running around allowed. I need to focus on being radiant and to be able to enjoy the wedding and not be stressing out about the minor details (which is really hard because my event planner mode is perpetually switched on).

I've passed some decor items and candles to Passion Road this morning.

I went for my fav beef ball noodles near Central Market.

I came back home, checked my email and read friends' blog.

Tomorrow morning, my mum, Paul and I are going shopping in KLCC or The Gardens.

Then the wedding planning committee is having a final meeting in the evening. After which, I'm going to hand over the reigns to the wedding planner and to my team.

I was hoping for Paul & I to go for a 3 hour couples spa session this Wednesday.

I've a mani & pedi scheduled for Thursday.

And on Friday, it's the Chinese wedding and on Saturday, the long awaited fairy wedding.

I'm going to clean the house now. Why? Because I've time to do mundane things like that.

Country Music in My Stage of Life

Country music is not a genre of music I'd mention when someone asks me about the music I like. It's so far down the list that I don't even think about it.

Apart from more commercialized country artists like Shania Twain who has some pop hits, I hardly know anything about country.

But now that I'm growing older, somehow my ears are more tuned towards the slower melodies and taking in more of the words rather than simply moving to the beat.

And because of the wedding, I've been searching for a lot of different songs for the wedding march, the wedding video and more. I've widen up my search because I'm an R&B girl and often R&B is about sultriness, sexiness, sex and lotsa bootilisciousness. Rap is hardly romantic. And neither is house and trance.

One of my favourite songs which I'll be using for part of the wedding is Shania Twain's "From This Moment"

Instead of saying "For better, for worst, in sickness and in health, till death do we part" which is the norm at weddings, she sings it as:

I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,
for better for worse, I will love you with
every beat of my heart
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

It's so beautiful. She says the same traditional words in a more heart warming and deeply meaningful way.

And the morning after Paul proposed, we sat by the pool at our villa and we listened to Keith Urban's "Making Memories of Us". Though I'm not that close to my parents, I found this part to be very meaningful and touching yet there's a touch of bad boyness in it.

I wanna honor your mother
And I wanna learn from your paw
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
And I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

I was just looking for a final song to pass to the photographer and was playing random songs from iTunes when Colin Raye's "If You Get There Before I Do" started playing and i just felt goose pimples (the good kind). I listened carefully to the lyrics

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

It's not like I've not heard these songs before. But it's as if I'm listening with new ears and appreciating the beauty of country music now.

I think it's partly due to the wedding and partly aging where I'm looking for more meaningful things in life.

Because almost half my life has passed, it's like most things I do now should be for a reason. Everything I do should benefit someone or myself. And not do something for the sake of doing it. Those days of mine have long done.

Life is funny. We change as we go though the different stages of life.

I think I'll move country up a few notches.